Jamaican Pediatrics

Nathan and I visited Dr. B this morning. Once again, it was an experience worthy of sharing. Last October when Mama and Daddy were here, I took Mama to Doctors Clinic to get a prescription for Celebrex. I called them yesterday to see if they had a pediatrician available and they told me that she had not yet returned from maternity leave. But, they recommended Dr. B who was located in the area. Not knowing what else to do or who to ask, I gave Dr. B's office a call. The nurse that answered the phone was nice and mostly helpful. After all the preliminary greetings and questions, this is how our conversation went:

"What time do you open?" I asked.

"8:30 in the morning," she responded.

"Could I make an appointment for in the morning please?"

"Oh, we don't make appointments. We operate on a "first come, first served basis," she said.(That should have been my first clue.)

I said, "Oh, okay, I'll come in tomorrow then."

She said, "So, we'll see you around ten in the morning?"

I said, "I thought you opened at 8:30."

She said, "Oh, you want to come early?"

"Yes," I responded. "

"Okay, we'll see you at 8:30 in the morning." That was easy, I thought. They must not be real busy.

Nathan and I left the house around 8:15 and arrived at the office just after 8:30. The nurse was sitting at the front desk and buzzed us in. I went over to her desk and she asked to see Nathan's immunization card and asked the usual questions like address, DOB, etc. I struggled to hear her questions because she had the radio blaring in another room. Then she directed us to the bathroom in the back for Nathan to give her a urine sample. She told me that there were 2 kidney shaped dishes on the counter and for him to give a urine sample in the blue one. In case you don't know what the kidney shaped dish was, it was a dish like what they expect you to throw up in when hospitalized. I don't need to tell you that Nathan just thought that was awesome and he wanted to fill the dish up instead of just a little squirt.

When we finished in the bathroom we went into the room with the blaring radio for the nurse to take his vitals. Now she did the typical height, weight, blood pressure, temp (under his arm), which I was fine with because I didn't want him sticking that thing in his mouth and then she got out her tape measure and measured his head. Measured his head? Why? He hasn't had his head measured since he was what? nine-ten months old? When she took his pulse she counted for the full minute instead of just for 15 seconds and then multiplying by four. I don't know how she didn't lose count with Stevie Wonder blaring, Isn't She Lovely, so loud that Nathan had to ask her, more than once, to repeat the questions she asked him. Now, my common sense tells me that if who I am speaking to can't hear me to get up and TURN THE RADIO DOWN! But, not hers. She just repeated her questions a bit louder. When she was finished she pointed out which door was the doctor's office and that when we went in to make sure that my cell phone was off and told us that we could wait in the waiting room. It was now around 9:00.

As we waited in the waiting room, Nathan played his DS and I began to look around. The walls were covered with posters. The only updated wall decoration was the 2008 calendar behind the nurses desk. A lot of the posters were wall calendars from 2001, 2002 and 2003. Most of the others were advertisements for medicines and ways to better your hygiene. But, the one that made me laugh was the one that advertised Yasmin the oral contraceptive. People, this is a pediatrician's office, not an OB/GYN. I just had to shake my head. During my inventory of the wall decor, another mother and baby came in. The nurse did the same in checking the child's vitals and asking the mother to wait. By this time, the doctor came out of his office and went down the hall and began moving cases of Similac and Pedialyte. I guess we blended into the sheet rock and he didn't see us. Another nurse had come to work by now. At 9:30 she came over and asked if we were the first ones there. I told her that we were. She told us that the doctor would be with us shortly that he was going to give the baby an immunization first. Fine.

At 9:50, they finally told us that we could go in to see the doctor. He was very nice. His office was decorated like his waiting room. And there were fliers and medicine samples everywhere. His examination table was covered in samples and swabs and just stuff. He asked several questions and I told him why we were there. He did look at Nathan's lesions on his face and agreed with me that it was impetigo. He gave us a prescription for Duricef and an antibiotic cream as well as some Zovirax. I was thrilled with the Zovirax because now if I get a fever blister, I can use it too.

All in all, we survived. But let me tell you, the next time you visit your doctor and you have to give a urine sample, be thankful that it is not in a throw up kidney shaped dish used by others.